Dear Summer

Dear Summer,

You have been kinda awkward this year.   Maybe it's because we are living all on top of each other in a small space, and it's like a thousand degrees outside so we don't dare go out there unless we have to or until the sun starts to go down.  Maybe it's because we have gone through a million life changes in the past seven months, and things don't appear to be settling down anytime soon.  (I mean, honestly...chances are they never will with this crew, but still.)  Maybe it's because we didn't make it to the beach as a family this year.  Maybe it's because my husband has been gone a lot working on our house and is too exhausted to do anything when he gets home.  Maybe it's because I've battled for months with the whole school decision...to keep homeschooling or not to homeschool?  That has been the question.  It was officially answered only three days ago, and in less than 48 hours everyone but Hai-Leigh will be going to school in a new district. Can I get an amen?!!!  I mean, last year was awesome, and perfect for where we were in life, and I am not saying that we will never homeschool again but for right now everyone is excited and at peace with this decision.  This Momma is not going to know what to do with herself.  Maybe I will actually be able to get things done.  And while I am excited, I am also extremely nervous, because this is also the first year (since being in public school) that Deacon will be placed in a regular classroom for the majority of the time.  I'm just gonna breathe in, breathe out, pray, let go, and let God handle it.  

Anyway, I can't put my finger on why, but the point is, you've been weird.  And if I'm being honest, you have never really been my favorite season anyway, but here is why I still appreciate you...

You started with the most unexpected, amazing, relaxing trip ever to Mexico where we stayed at the Mia Reef resort.  It was a ferry ride away from Cancun and located on the tip of an island called Isla Mujeres.  The resort sat on an island itself and was surrounded by crystal clear waters and beautiful rocks.  It was the perfect escape for us, but would be great for families too, because it was low-key.  One of my favorite days was when we rented a golf cart and drove all the way around the island.  The views were breathtaking, and all of the bright colors made my heart so happy!

You were also kicked off with one of my favorites...berry picking.  The picking experience itself was quite miserable this year, but as usual all hard efforts were redeemed with the lemon-berry popsicles and homemade cobbler.

And then there was the family reunion at Lake Catherine in Arkansas.  All I wanted to do while we were there was take a nice little family hike to the waterfalls.  After picking our double stroller up above our heads and carrying two sleeping children over three bridges, we realized that it was not going to happen.  We ended up taking the alternative route and arrived by boat.  It ended up being totally worth the madness.  Plus, I got the added bonus of taking the hike back with the big boys.

This was also the place where we got to celebrate my sweet boy turning 11.  Man, that is so hard to believe! And let's not even talk about the fact that he's starting Middle School.  Hold me.

It is evident that we had our moments.

And while those moments were undeniably special,  I think it's time for you to go.  No offense, but I am ready to trade the popsicles and kiddie pools in for all things pumpkin spice and bonfires.  To put up the flip flops and dreaded swimsuits and bust out the boots and sweatshirts.   I long for cooler temperatures and moments of silence.  Not to mention, every day that passes puts me one step closer to being in a house again.  Though they will consist of their own kind of crazy, I look forward to the next two seasons. I hate to tell you, but they have always been my favorite.  I fully intend to soak them in, along with the one on one time that me and Little Sis are about to have.  I do promise to have more love for you next year.  Til then, Peace out. Adios. Holler at ya!

Sincerely,

 One Sweaty, Exhausted Momma

A Letter to My Birthday Girl

Dear Hai-Leigh,

Today is a special day.  One filled with many emotions.  It's the day you were born.  Last night, as I tucked you in and stroked your hair, I could not help but think of your birth mother.   My guess is she's probably thinking of you too.  I don't know her story or anything about her.  I don't know if she wasn't allowed to raise you, couldn't afford the care you would need, or if she felt pressured to let you go because she knew people in her culture would look down upon the very large birthmark/mole that covers a large portion of your back and there you would have a very hard time with it when you got older. (We call it a beauty mark.  And here, we work hard to celebrate differences, hoping you always believe what makes you different is what makes you beautiful.)  But what I do know is this...she loved you.  She loved you enough to carry you in her tummy for at least seven months or more.  She loved you so much that one year ago today, she laid your little two-pound body in a special place where she knew you would quickly be found.  She had to have bundled you up tight, because the temperature there is in the mid-30's this time of year.   I like to imagine that she even watched from afar to make sure you were quickly retrieved.  She loved you enough to give you life.  And for that, I will forever be grateful to her.  My heart also hurts for her knowing how difficult that must have been.  I admire her strength.  I admire yours.  That must be where you get it from.

Being so tiny and fragile,  I imagine you had to be quite the fighter in order to survive.   Though I don't know all of them,  I will always appreciate all of the wonderful people who dedicated their time to nursing you to good health and raising you throughout those first eleven months of your life.  It is evident that you were well loved and taken care of.

It has been one month since I first held you in my arms.   I began loving you long before I knew you, but that love continues to grow stronger and stronger with each passing day.

I love your little squinty-eyed, toothy grin and your sweet nature.  Your Pops calls you Smiley Hai-leigh.  I like it and think the nickname fits you perfectly. 

I love that you have a feisty side too.  I get to see it each time your littlest big brother messes with you.  Which is a lot.  He means well, but God love him, he doesn't realize how big he is compared to how tiny you are.

I love the connection you have with your other big Brother and your Sister.  It was immediate and came so naturally.  What a blessing for this Momma to witness!

Your Daddy? He's crazy in love with you too!  Each day you love him back a little more, and it makes him so happy.  You have been cared for by mostly women, so he understands that it has taken you a little bit longer to get used to him.

I personally love that you are a Momma's girl.  Although, it doesn't allow me to be very productive, I get in lots and lots of long awaited snuggle time.  I love that you cry out for me and give a sigh of relief each time you are back in my arms.  We have had to take the front of your crib off and put it up against my side of the bed, because you just want to be close to me.  In the middle of the night, I will hear you begin to whimper.  Then, I feel your little arm reach out, and as soon as your hand touches me, you get silent and go back to sleep.  I love that too.

It's funny, much like the labor of birthing your brothers and sister, I have forgotten about the pain of the process that brought you here.  The waiting. The paperwork. The fees.  The fundraising.  All of it quickly fades away and is easily forgotten.  And all that matters is that you are here, safe and sound in my arms.   I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

People say that you are so blessed to get to be a part of our family, but I see things just the opposite.  I feel extremely honored that the Lord entrusted us with you and allowed us to be your parents.  I also feel undeserving of such an incredible gift.   We needed you just as much as you needed us.  If not more.

You are a beautiful example of what can happen when we let go of our fears and hold on to faith.  You are EVERYTHING that we prayed you would be.  And more.  You fit so perfectly into our family.  It is really amazing to witness.  God is so good.  He really, really is.  He cares about all of the details of our lives.  He provided the strength and resources needed to bring you into our family.  There is no way we could have done it without Him and His people.  It is my prayer that your life and your story might one day inspire others to take that same leap of faith.

You have already brought us SO MUCH joy!  I feel so blessed to have you call me "Momma" and to get to celebrate this day with you.  I look forward to getting to know you better and celebrating many, many more years together.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEET GIRL! I LOVE YOU!!!

Love always, 

Momma

Thankful

Last week, a friend whose son was in the same orphanage that  Hai-Leigh is in texted me.  She asked if I was sure of the orphanage she was in and explained that it was a poor orphanage and that she did not feel like they would have had the resources to care for her when she was first born.  Hai-Leigh was born premature weighing only 2.86 lbs.  My friend suggested that she may be in another home there that was better prepared to care for her at this size.  So I looked up this place and it turned out they had a Facebook page.  I scrolled through every one of their pictures until there she was...weighing only 3 lbs and wearing a tiny St. Patrick's day onesie.  I knew it was her because of the description and the tiny mole above her right eyebrow.  I immediately messaged them to see if she was still there.  Unfortunately, she is not, but they were able to share some new information with me.  And this morning, I woke up to the most beautiful blessing...487 pictures of her from the time that she was with them.  I scrolled through each of them this morning with tears pouring down my face.

I mean, look at her in this crown...

And this bow...

  

Look how tiny...

It was obvious that she was constantly being loved on. I think those were the pictures that got to me the most. 

And just look at how much bigger and healthier she grows...

All of these moments that I felt like I missed out on, in a way now I haven't.  You have no idea how grateful I am for this!  One day I will be able to look back at these with her and show her how much she was already loved even before she came into our lives, and there will be fewer gaps to fill in.  Gosh, I'm crying again as I type this! God is so good!

In addition to this wonderful email, I opened up another email last night that read these words, "Hi Dustin & Andrea. Surprise! We were absolutely shocked to have just received your original, hard-copy "Letter Seeking Confirmation of Adopter (LOA)!" This is a big step in adoption and means that Chin@ has officially accepted our request to adopt Hai-Leigh.  We now move towards travel.  This makes me very excited and nervous all at the same time.  Once our next set of paperwork we send off is filed, we are given a timeline of 9-12 weeks for travel, which means it is very likely we will have her here by her first birthday.  However, it also means that we don't have much time to raise the remaining $17,000 plus + that it will cost to finalize the adoption.

Thank you so much to those of you who have already supported us and have helped us to bring her home.  We sold over 100 necklaces and received $1125 in donations on our Pure Charity site over the past week and a half.  This has given us the $3,510 that is needed at this time. It is so awesome to watch how The Lord provides what we need when we need it.  We trust that he will do the same for the remaining balance, and we will work hard to do our part in raising these funds.

This morning, I read today's Jesus Calling by Sarah Young and (as usual)  it was too good not to share with you.  It talked about giving thanks in times of adversity...

"Thankfulness takes the sting out of adversity.  That is why I have instructed you to give thanks for everything.  There is an element of mystery in this transaction: You give Me thanks (regardless of your feelings), and I give you Joy (regardless of your circumstances).  This is a spiritual act of obedience-at times, blind obedience.  To people who don't know Me intimately, it can seem irrational and even impossible to thank Me for heartrending hardships.  Nonetheless, those who obey Me in this way are invariably blessed, even though difficulties remain.
    Thankfulness opens your heart to My Presence and your mind to My thoughts.  You may still be in the same place, with the same set of circumstance, but it is as if a light has been switched on, enabling you to see from My perspective.  It is this Light of My Presence that removes the sting from adversity."

The scriptures that went along with it could not have been more fitting for this day...

Ephesians 5:20 "always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Psalm 118:1  "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; His love endures forever."

I'm thankful for the challenges that this adoption has brought and will bring.  These obstacles allow God to reveal himself to us in ways we never could have imagined and in turn, we are able to give Him the glory for all that He does.  

My cup runneth over this morning, and I am so grateful for the many blessings in our lives!  What about you? What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?  I hope you all have a wonderful week, and a very Happy Thanksgiving!

For This Child I Have Prayed

Last Wednesday afternoon I was getting ready for church when I got a call from our adoption agency.  Seeing their number made my heart nearly jump out of my chest, because I knew what it meant.  It was the call that we have been waiting for over a year now.  They had a file of a little girl that they wanted us to review.  After several days of prayer, consultation, and paperwork, we made a decision, and I am elated to introduce you to our daugther...

Hai-Leigh Joy Tharpe!!!

She is eight months old, and we are praying that we can have her here before her first birthday on March 14th.  She has an incredible, but heartbreaking story that I am sure I will share with you one day, but right now I just want to share our excitement.  Please be in prayer with us throughout the rest of this process.  Our specific requests are for her to be well taken care of and know that she has a family that loves her and is anxiously waiting for her.  Also, a big prayer request is for us to have the remaining funds (An estimated $20,000) needed to bring her home by the time Chin@ is ready for us to come so that neither of us have to wait a second longer than necessary to be together.  We have friends who have traveled in as early as 10 weeks from the time they were matched.  Of course each situation is different, but I've heard that things are moving kind of quickly right now in Chin@ and that doesn't leave us a lot of time to raise the rest of the money.  We want to be prepared when the time comes to go get her.

"For this child I have prayed, and the Lord has granted the desires of my heart." (1 Samuel 1:27)

We are so grateful for this answered prayer and are trusting that the Lord will see us through the rest of this process.  I know that he has great plans for Hai-Leigh and cannot wait to see her story unfold.  Thank you all for your support and prayers.  If you are interested in how you can help, please watch our Facebook for upcoming fundraisers. We have also created a Pure Charity fundraising page which is designed for raising money for adoption.  You can click here to make a donation.  (I have also added a link to this blog.)  Any donations made through this site are tax deductible and will go directly to our adoption agency.  We will keep you updated along the way.  God bless.