Our Newest Adventure

Typically as summer vacation comes to an end, I go into a state of depression.  It usually only lasts until the pumpkin spice candles come out and lift my spirits.  I embrace the freedom for a little bit, but eventually I find myself counting down the days til breaks and Saturdays and summer again.  Right now, I should be gathering uniforms, buying school supplies, writing school fee checks, prepping lunches, and attending open houses, but this year I am not.  This year will be different.  For a while now, I have had a very strong desire to homeschool.  After lots of prayer, discussion with the kids, and developing pros and cons lists, we have decided to go for it.  Some people will not understand this, especially since I have pulled them out of a magnet school to do so.  (The horror!)  However, we feel that this is what is best for our family and the season we are in, and that is all that matters.  The older I get, the more I see, and the more I learn, the less I care what people think.

Our new adventure will begin on Thursday.  I couldn't be more nervous, but I also couldn't be more excited.  I am not real sure what I am getting into, and have been slightly overwhelmed beginning the whole process, but I do have a degree in education, so I'm thinking I should be able to figure this thing out.  Besides, my kids are already above their grade level, so I'm hoping that even if I fall flat on my face and totally suck at it the first time around, they'll still be good. Our intention is to try it for a year, see how it goes, and then reassess the situation.

Now brother? He will go to school, because well, I just can't.  He needs the structure and therapies, and let's be honest...I need the break.  I love him with all of my heart, but the boy wears me out.  He goes 90 to nothing 100 percent of the time.  (I mean, have you seen my #DestructiveDeacon posts on IG?) Plus, you can ask him, "Are you excited about starting school?" and he says, "Yeah" with a huge grin on his face. "Cited!"

My kids insisted that they needed "class pets".  So, because we are suckers, allow me to introduce you to Buddy the bird and Rosie the hamster...

Our track record with pets has not been the best, so we will see how this goes.  So far, so good, but it has only been a day.  Hopefully neither of these will pee in my purse.  (Side note: The way Deacon says "Rosie" makes me want to keep her forever.)

Certain obligations and the adoption have kept us from taking a vacation this summer, so I have lived vicariously through all of your beach pictures.  Thanks for those.  Our time is coming though.  We are taking a Griswold family vacation to Florida in December, and I get to enjoy the ocean without having all the sand in all the places and worrying about sharks.  So, I'm pretty excited about that.  Our break may have been pretty low-key this year, but it's still been a good one.

Now I'm looking forward to our newest venture and the next season.  Literally.  Now, that I know my big kids aren't going back to school, I can officially say I am over summer.  I am not a fan of 103 degrees and would really like to have sweatshirt weather back asap.  Plus, I want to be able to enjoy being outside again.  I'll come back soon to let you know how this whole home school thing is going and to update you on the craziness of the adoption.  Til then, God Bless.

Out of Control & Saying Yes

Our house is for sale right now.  We are in the middle of an international adoption.  Both of these things have major effects on our daily life.  I don't know when we will be moving.  I don't know when we will be traveling to China to bring home our daughter.  In my perfect world, both would take place before the end of the year, but that may not be what God has in store for us.  It's SO hard not knowing and just trusting in His perfect will for our lives.  Our future feels very hazy.  I feel like I'm in limbo and find myself desiring things to be certain and steady.  But that's not life.  Life is uncertain.  I mean, on this day one year ago, we were in a place that we never dreamed we would be...sitting in a hospital waiting room in Memphis while my nephew underwent surgery to remove his cancerous brain tumor.  There are some things you just simply cannot prepare for no matter how hard you try.

For the most part, I do okay handling things out of my control, but after a while, I start to go a little bit (or maybe a lot) crazy.  Then God slaps me in the face with verses like, "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." (Proverbs 17:9) and "We may throw the dice, but the Lord determines how they fall." (Proverbs 17:33) And once again, I am reminded that I may be on the boat, but I am not the captain.  There is someone much bigger than me steering this ship of life, and I have to trust in His plans and timing.  In the meantime, I will keep telling myself to just try to enjoy the ride.  And will continue praying for direction, guidance, and finances each step of the way.

Since I don't have control over much else, I have been micromanaging my kids.  Running this place like a dang bootcamp trying to make sure that our house stays show-ready at (almost) all times. Of course the only surefire way to do that is to never be home.  I've been answering "No" to anything that could possibly make a mess or get out hand.  But today, I tried to be a "Yes!" Mom.

"Can I have popcorn chicken for breakfast?" Whatever.
"Can we play in the rain?" Sure. Watch for lightening.

"Mom, will you play with us?" Why not?! :)

I must say I was pretty pleased with the results.  Now, lets just hope they don't call to show our house today, because it is a MESS!

Keeping the Faith

A few weeks ago, God laid it on my heart to stop what I was reading and start reading the book of Matthew.  I read through the book and just shook my head a lot as I read it thinking, "Ok, God.  I get it."  This was  partly because it is full of things that He had previously been speaking to me about, but more so because there were multiple times where He said, "Oh ye of little faith."  Our adoption process is moving very slowly.  Partly because we are procrastinators, partly because life has been crazy, but mainly because of the money.  Adoption is expensive.  We knew that going into it, but we also had faith that God would make a way.  And he has provided so far, but we are not even 1/4 of the way there when it comes to the financial part of the adoption.  Just when I start to doubt and feel like we are never going to get there,  He sends me into Matthew and reminds me to keep the faith.

I have never been a reader.  Especially if there are no pictures.  I want to be.  Like really bad.  I buy all kinds of great books with good intentions, but very few get read all the way through.   I get so easily distracted by all of the crazy thoughts in my head and end up not comprehending half of what I read.   I know, it's sad.  I read Matthew the whole way through last week, but probably only picked up on about 1/3 of it.  Or less.  I even tried to take notes on the examples of great faith or the ones lacking faith, because that's what I really felt like God was trying to teach me.  There is just so much goodness there.  I started it back over this week using a different translation hoping that even more would soak in.  While reading Chapter 7, verses seven and eight really spoke to me....“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened."  I know this verse.  I've heard it a hundred times.  I have always loved that hymn too...

"Seek Ye first the kingdom of God,
And His righteousness,
And all these things, shall be added onto you,
Alleu, alleuia"

It's been evident from early on that singing was not one of my spiritual gifts.  My family has always told me that I couldn't "carry a tune in a bucket",  but there were still those few songs that in my head I always thought sounded good when I sang them, and this hymn was one of them.  The others were Janet Jackson's "Again" and Lee Greenwood's "I'm Proud to be an American", but I only sang those in front of my cassette player.  However, I have wanted so badly to be a singer, that one time back in the day (since it was one of my sound-good songs) I sang that hymn as a special with a few other ladies in front of the whole church.  It was then that I realized my family was right, it did not matter the song, I needed to give that dream right up, and never try it again. Ever.  So now I stick to the shower and my car.  

Anyway, as many times as I have quoted that verse or sang that hymn, when I read it this last time, it was the word ASK that really jumped out at me.  You see, this is where me and Dustin have a problem.  We do not like asking others for money.  In fact, I don't think very many people at our church know we are adopting and need help, because we just don't solicit it.  You give me somebody else's cause or helping to raise money for Youth camp or a DS association or something like that, and I am on it.  And we can ask God to help us all day long, but asking people is a whole different story.  I can sell you something in a heartbeat, but it's going to take a WHOLE LOT of necklaces and t-shirts to come up with the $20,000-$25,000 that we have left to raise for this adoption.  Thankfully, it is due in bits and pieces and not all at one time.  We are working to apply for grants and things like that, but we have not personally asked for help other than creating a go-fund me that I cannot make myself share again.  But somewhere there is a little girl that is sitting in an orphanage with no one loving on her.  No one reading bedtime stories, saying prayers with her, tucking her in, and kissing her goodnight.  Nobody comforting her when she is cold or sick or hurt or scared.  She has nobody to call Momma or Daddy and has never known the love of a family.  It breaks my heart just thinking about it.  And even more than I have ever dreamt of singing, I dream of bringing her home and giving her all of those things plus so much more.  But to do that, I have to swallow my pride and ask for help.   So this is me asking for help.  I have added a Paypal button to the top left corner of blog for anyone who feels led to donate towards our adoption. (If you are reading from your cell phone, you have to click on "View web version" to see it.) If you are not comfortable with Paypal, but still would like to give, you can email me at Bethelightproject@gmail.com to discuss other options.

We don't know who our daughter is at the moment, but we know we love her.  I pray every night that she is able to feel that love and know that we are coming for her.  God knows who she is and how we are going to get her here.  At this phase in our adoption, we need around $5,000 to proceed to the next step.  So along with adding a donation button, (and because I really cannot stand to just ask for money) I have designed another t-shirt to sell.

It is available in Kids and Adult sizes and will ship out in approximately 3-4 weeks from the time it is ordered.  The cost of the shirt is $28 and that includes shipping.  To order, simply email me your name, address, phone number,  and size, and I will email you back directions on how to pay for it.   Thanks so much to those of you who have supported us already even if it is with your prayers.  The prayers are of utmost importance to us.   God bless you all and much love to you!

Andrea  

The Cutest Face

It was a Friday afternoon, a couple of weeks ago.  My anxiety level was high, because I had just chased down the kids' bus driver.  Twice.  Once because Sister didn't get off at her stop, and then again, because Noah remembered he left his hoodie on there.  Surely, I'm not the only mom ever to hop out at a stop light, run up to the bus, and beat on the driver's window to ask him to pull over at the next available spot.  When it comes to boys and their Under Armour, it's serious business and mine is a little over-dramatic, so it simply could not wait til Monday afternoon.  Chances are it would be gone by then.  If you're a Mom who has paid for that stuff, I know you feel me and would have done the same thing.  Okay, probably not.  Because a sane person would get the driver's phone number and call them.  Nope.  Not me.  So maybe I know where he gets his over-dramatization from.

Anyway, driving back home, I overheard the kids in the backseat of the car.

Noah leaned over to Deacon and said, "Oh, I just want to kiss your face! It's the cutest face in the whole world!"

Then, I hear Sister say, "You mean the cutest Down Syndrome face."

Noah was so enthralled by his brother that I don't think he heard her.   He just continued on..."I love you, Bubba.  You're the cutest little Brother in the world.  This is just the cutest little face..."

Sister insistently interrupted, "You mean the cutest DOWN SYNDROME face!"

This time he heard her.  He looked at her in total dismay and said, "What? No! What are you talking about? Why would you say that?  Why would his face be any different than any other face?  It's just the cutest face!"

She just put her head down in embarrassment and didn't say a word.  And neither did I.  I just smiled.  I couldn't help but think of the lessons that Deacon is continuing to teach them.  Teach me.  How to see others through Christ's eyes and to love them unconditionally.  To see past their flaws, their weaknesses, their differences, and to love them for who they are.  It is my prayer that as days and years go by this lesson carries on into their lives.  That when my children look at others, they don't see a pretty face, an unseemly face, a rich face, a poor face, a smart face, an unintelligent face, or any other kind of face, but rather they just see a face.  A person.  A life just as important as their own.   I also pray that my children do not find pleasure in mocking another's blemishes or insecurities.    It might be in our human nature to judge and make fun of, but it's not at all our place.  I'm not casting any stones, because I am just as guilty as the next person.  I'm learning too.  He's continuing to change me into a better person.  I'm a work in progress, but aren't we all?  The truth is whether or not we choose to admit it, we are all broken and imperfect.  We are all different in our own way.  But Christ loves us anyway.  Can you imagine what a better place this World would be if we all loved with this same love? 

When I look at my son, I don't see Down Syndrome, I just see Deacon.  A happy, healthy (minus the broken leg & cast) little boy who loves life with a passion and brings so much joy to those around him.  I am not naive enough to believe that everyone around him will always see or treat him this way.  I cringe to think about what he will face or hear from some of the cruel, hateful people in this world.  I like to have the ignorance is bliss mentality and think they don't exist, but I've been on social media long enough to see that they do.  All I can do is pray for these people, and do my best to protect my son.  Hoping that maybe one day he can teach them too.  And knowing that there are many more good people in this world than there are bad.

And speaking of there being more good people...we have been showered with so many meals, gifts, cards, prayers, and well wishes during this little bump in the road.  I can't say enough how appreciative I am for the love shown to my boy and our family.  Even from complete strangers.  Just a few weeks ago, I had a lady contact me and tell me that Deacon had been nominated for something called the Sunshine Box Project.  If you haven't heard of them, they are an awesome organization that connects sponsors with nominees and help send boxes of sunshine to those who could really use it.  How awesome is that?! Click here to find out more or how you could be involved.  We received our package a few days ago from a precious family in Georgia.  The big kids were just as blessed by it as Deacon.  And so were we.  It's so refreshing and inspiring to see people loving other people and carrying out such selfless acts.

 

God is good! All of the time.  I love seeing how He works and have other stories to tell, but I'll save those for another post.  For now, here are some highlights from the past few months...

 Sister turned 7!

 Mardi Gras fun! 

  

Snow in Louisiana! Happens once in a blue moon.  We don't even know how to handle it!
(Hence the turtle sandbox lid for a sled.)

And soakin' in some of this spring sunshine...