Friday, September 19, 2014

Dear Deacon: A Proud Momma Post

Dear Deacon,

You just snuggled up with me on brother's bed, and we belly laughed til it hurt.  This went on for about five minutes.  The harder you laughed, the harder I laughed, and I don't even know what started it.  But tears ran down my face as I took it in.  You have no idea how much joy you bring me.  I've been told many times that you bring it to others too, and I've seen with my own eyes how you can light up a room.  It's just like I imagined after I accepted and appreciated who God made you to be.  Only it's better.

You are at such a fun age.  You are growing, learning, talking, and entertaining more and more each day.  You started school this week.  It was a big milestone for you and for me.  It took quite a bit of letting go.  You wouldn't even be going to this place if I hadn't spoken up for you when you couldn't speak for yourself.  And it took some staring awkwardness in the face to make it happen, but when you came home yesterday identifying a circle and the letter "A", I knew I did the right thing and it was worth it.  YOU are worth it!

But I have to be honest...when I dropped you off Tuesday, I had some fears and some what-ifs. "What if you can't keep up with the other children physically? What if your teacher sees you as a burden? What if you stick your hand in your dirty diaper as you've been known to do? What if other parents don't know how awesome you are and are uncomfortable with you being in their kid's class? What if you take too big of a bite and choke on your food?" We all know I tend to be a worrier, and I thought of them all.  I was in the middle of telling your teacher some of my concerns when you slammed the little half-door in my face and said, "Bye, Momma!"  It was like you were saying, "Calm down Woman, I've got this!"  And you did.  Your teacher said you did great!  That night I found out she had been following you on Instagram and loved and prayed for you before she even knew you.  Tell me that's not a God thing?!  It's amazing how he works out even the smallest of details!

I love to see you blowing misconceptions of Down Syndrome out of the water one after another.  I know it's hypocritical, but even as your biggest advocate there have been areas where I doubted your abilities and you've proved me wrong too.  I must apologize for those times. You are constantly showing me that I should never underestimate, and I couldn't be more proud of you.  Thank you for being YOU, for showing me what life is all about, and for teaching me to appreciate differences.  I love you more than words can say.  I tell you all of the time, and you usually just pucker up your lips at me to show me you love me too.  But guess what? Today you said it back, and once again my Momma heart is full!

Now, let's go work a puzzle and sort some colors, because you are awesome at that too!

Much Love,