Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Keeping the Faith

A few weeks ago, God laid it on my heart to stop what I was reading and start reading the book of Matthew.  I read through the book and just shook my head a lot as I read it thinking, "Ok, God.  I get it."  This was  partly because it is full of things that He had previously been speaking to me about, but more so because there were multiple times where He said, "Oh ye of little faith."  Our adoption process is moving very slowly.  Partly because we are procrastinators, partly because life has been crazy, but mainly because of the money.  Adoption is expensive.  We knew that going into it, but we also had faith that God would make a way.  And he has provided so far, but we are not even 1/4 of the way there when it comes to the financial part of the adoption.  Just when I start to doubt and feel like we are never going to get there,  He sends me into Matthew and reminds me to keep the faith.

I have never been a reader.  Especially if there are no pictures.  I want to be.  Like really bad.  I buy all kinds of great books with good intentions, but very few get read all the way through.   I get so easily distracted by all of the crazy thoughts in my head and end up not comprehending half of what I read.   I know, it's sad.  I read Matthew the whole way through last week, but probably only picked up on about 1/3 of it.  Or less.  I even tried to take notes on the examples of great faith or the ones lacking faith, because that's what I really felt like God was trying to teach me.  There is just so much goodness there.  I started it back over this week using a different translation hoping that even more would soak in.  While reading Chapter 7, verses seven and eight really spoke to me....“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened."  I know this verse.  I've heard it a hundred times.  I have always loved that hymn too...

"Seek Ye first the kingdom of God,
And His righteousness,
And all these things, shall be added onto you,
Alleu, alleuia"

It's been evident from early on that singing was not one of my spiritual gifts.  My family has always told me that I couldn't "carry a tune in a bucket",  but there were still those few songs that in my head I always thought sounded good when I sang them, and this hymn was one of them.  The others were Janet Jackson's "Again" and Lee Greenwood's "I'm Proud to be an American", but I only sang those in front of my cassette player.  However, I have wanted so badly to be a singer, that one time back in the day (since it was one of my sound-good songs) I sang that hymn as a special with a few other ladies in front of the whole church.  It was then that I realized my family was right, it did not matter the song, I needed to give that dream right up, and never try it again. Ever.  So now I stick to the shower and my car.  

Anyway, as many times as I have quoted that verse or sang that hymn, when I read it this last time, it was the word ASK that really jumped out at me.  You see, this is where me and Dustin have a problem.  We do not like asking others for money.  In fact, I don't think very many people at our church know we are adopting and need help, because we just don't solicit it.  You give me somebody else's cause or helping to raise money for Youth camp or a DS association or something like that, and I am on it.  And we can ask God to help us all day long, but asking people is a whole different story.  I can sell you something in a heartbeat, but it's going to take a WHOLE LOT of necklaces and t-shirts to come up with the $20,000-$25,000 that we have left to raise for this adoption.  Thankfully, it is due in bits and pieces and not all at one time.  We are working to apply for grants and things like that, but we have not personally asked for help other than creating a go-fund me that I cannot make myself share again.  But somewhere there is a little girl that is sitting in an orphanage with no one loving on her.  No one reading bedtime stories, saying prayers with her, tucking her in, and kissing her goodnight.  Nobody comforting her when she is cold or sick or hurt or scared.  She has nobody to call Momma or Daddy and has never known the love of a family.  It breaks my heart just thinking about it.  And even more than I have ever dreamt of singing, I dream of bringing her home and giving her all of those things plus so much more.  But to do that, I have to swallow my pride and ask for help.   So this is me asking for help.  I have added a Paypal button to the top left corner of blog for anyone who feels led to donate towards our adoption. (If you are reading from your cell phone, you have to click on "View web version" to see it.) If you are not comfortable with Paypal, but still would like to give, you can email me at Bethelightproject@gmail.com to discuss other options.

We don't know who our daughter is at the moment, but we know we love her.  I pray every night that she is able to feel that love and know that we are coming for her.  God knows who she is and how we are going to get her here.  At this phase in our adoption, we need around $5,000 to proceed to the next step.  So along with adding a donation button, (and because I really cannot stand to just ask for money) I have designed another t-shirt to sell.

It is available in Kids and Adult sizes and will ship out in approximately 3-4 weeks from the time it is ordered.  The cost of the shirt is $28 and that includes shipping.  To order, simply email me your name, address, phone number,  and size, and I will email you back directions on how to pay for it.   Thanks so much to those of you who have supported us already even if it is with your prayers.  The prayers are of utmost importance to us.   God bless you all and much love to you!